If Only

If only you knew how it’s hard for me
To weave out syllables and phrases
That are meant to be spoken
And not written
Perhaps you would understand
Why I don’t talk to much
Why I only respond with stares
And nods

If only you knew how it’s hard for me
To stay in conversations
With a pace as slow as a stream
On a nearly dry river bed
Perhaps you would understand
Why I look so impatient
Why I insist on getting to the point
And start working on it

If only you knew how it’s hard for me
To accept that I’m in this position
Where I can’t pursue my real passion
And that is to help
Perhaps you would understand
Why I look so disinterested
Why I’m so detached
‘Cause wealth doesn’t make me happy

If only you knew how it’s hard for me
To drink the bitter insults
And carry the anger, the rage
You’re passing unto my shoulders
Perhaps you would understand
Why I want to be alone
Why I want to be free
‘Cause I’m don’t want to be the person you want me to be.

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